Still here

Leavin' on a jet plane....

    ...or a boat, or a car, or a train, or a rocket to the moon - you name it, if it's going anywhere but here, I'm in line for the next ticket.  Can't say that there is any particular reason, other than being grouchier than the devil on the last day of a Billy Graham crusade.  I just want to go away.  Far, far away.  Alone.
    This seems rather harsh towards my husband and children, I know.  It's not their fault.  I love my husband - he's a peach - none better - and the kids are really above average. Love them too.  I just have an almost overwhelming urge to go somewhere all alone.   I want to choose the place and time and manner of my going, and I want to choose what I do once I'm gone.  And then - if I feel like it - I want to decide when to come back.   No guilt, no pressure, no watching the clock so I'm not gone "too long", none of that. 
    What is behind this?  I have a darned good life.  My marriage is (almost embarrassingly) good, we're all healthy, no major problems on the family horizon - heck, the kids are even doing their schoolwork with a minimum of fuss and, better yet, learning things!!  So why am I so desperate to get away from all the wonderful?  I wish I knew.  I guess it's just one of those days.  Maybe the happy pills haven't kicked in yet.  Maybe the moon is in the wrong house.  Maybe I need more chromium in my diet.  Or maybe - just maybe - I'm normal.  Could be this is just average for a person living a normal life these days.  Every now and then you just need to stop juggling all those oh-so-important balls and walk away for a little bit, in order to give yourself the inner resources you need to come back and start juggling again. Could be. 
    Or it could be that I'm barking mad, too.  Guess we'll just have to wait and see.


Suzanne V. (Yarnhog)

I used to lock myself in the bathroom and pretend the door was soundproof when I got to that point. It's not exactly Bora Bora, but it did keep me from committing infanticide a time or two.

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