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January 2008
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March 2008

It's a sorry thing


Believe it or not, I finally finished the Vest That Never Ends!   My stitches were even, the stripes lovely.  I shaped a bee-you-tee-ful v-neck.  And then I sewed it up, and it all went to hell in a handbasket.
    How - how, I ask you - can such a simple thing as sewing a straight seam cause such ugliness?  I mean, I can sew!  I'm no professional seamstress, but I've done my share with needle and thread and machine, and there's been very little that I couldn't use when I was done.  Sewing up two little shoulder seams and two side seams - how hard can it be?  In this case, the answer is apparently "Too hard for you, dumbo!" 
    I sewed up the first shoulder seam with joyous abandon, humming merrily to myself as I contemplated my mental image of me in the Vest.  It was going to fit beautifully and make me look 20 pounds thinner and 10 years younger and coordinate with everything in my closet.  (Hey, a girl can dream.)  Then I took a good look at that shoulder seam.  Shock!  Dismay!  It looked like - like - arse.  Like a mentally deficient chimpanzee with no thumbs had sewn it up.  I sat and stared, frozen in horror, for some unknown time period, then finally reasserted my grasp on the situation and began undoing the seam.  It didn't go well.  By the time I'd undone that little 4" bit of sewing, I was exhausted and mildly irrational, so I put the whole thing aside for another day.
    Several days later (hey, I'm a slow recover-er!), I picked up the Vest and once again attempted to complete my work.   I was determined to finish the job this time.  So I did the shoulder seams.  Better....not good, but better.  Then I tackled the side seams, which, while longer, were for some odd reason easier to do decently.  Then I turned it around and looked at it.  Hmm....still needs something.  I know!  I'll do a crocheted edging around the armholes and the back of the neck.  Oh, wait!  Better yet - I can extend the crochet across the shoulder seams, so I have a pretty decorative chain there instead of the current lumpy, wobbly ugliness.  So I crocheted.  And crocheted.  And then looked at it again, and almost threw it across the room.  Oh, the side seams aren't bad, and the armholes are okay, and the v-neck is still good (thank GOD something is!) but those shoulder seams....oh, woe to the shoulder seams!   After spending some time staring blankly at the mess I'd made of my beautiful Vest, I came up with a solution.
    I'm wearing it under a jacket.  Ain't nobody seeing these seams!

I think I want to live...


....although there is still some room for debate.  This bronchitis has not been fun, let me tell you.  I'm past the worst of it (we all are, thank goodness); now we're in the "black hole" portion of the illness, where you're just mostly miserable for an apparently unending period of time, but right when you've given up all hope of ever breathing normally, you wake up cured.   Obviously we haven't reached the end yet, but I have faith that it's coming.  If it doesn't - well, we'll need more tissues. 
    Apart from our respiratory issues, life is pretty good!  Today is a brilliantly sunny day, which is always a good thing in mid-February.  Bring on the sun!  With all the snow, it's so bright  I actually have to put on sunglasses when I take the dog out or I wind up with tears running down my face.  Since they then freeze to my face, that is a situation to be avoided.  I'm sure the neighbors have interesting conversations about the strange woman in the big poofy down jacket and the purple sunglasses, but hey, I figure I'm providing a community service.  What else is there to talk about this time of year?   Besides, once it warms up I'm sure I'll have found some other method of entertaining the neighborhood.  I am nothing if not resourceful. 

Big news!


This has been quite the week!  I finished the fingerless mitts for my sister; last night I actually completed the Vest that Never Ends (well, except for the seaming, but close enough!); we've all been sick as dogs, but are now on the mend; but the biggest thing?

Melinda is engaged to be married to a wonderful guy, and we are all thrilled.  Mark is a great guy, and the two of them are head-over-heels in love, which I must admit is causing me a great deal of amusement along the way.  See, for 21 years Melinda's been picking on Jon and I about being so "mushy" and "disgusting".  But this week, I got an apology: "I take back everything....we're just as disgusting as you guys!"  Life is good.  Seriously, I'm just tickled for them, and I can't wait to be in the wedding!!

And the gift goes on....


One of the things I've always loved about my youngest child is his generous nature.  If he gets something good, he always wants to share.  If he sees someone in need, his little heart just breaks.  But right now I'm wishing he was a leetle bit stingier, because he has oh-so-graciously shared his germs with his siblings and me, and now we're all miserable.  Eldest son is bouncing back pretty quickly, but darling daughter and I are still wiped out.   We feel crummy enough that I made a doctor's appointment for us this afternoon.  Of course, with our luck he'll just tell us it's viral and to ride it out (grrrrrr), but hope springs eternal and all that.  Cough. 
    In cheerier news, I have actually finished the fingerless mitts for my sister!!  Do you believe it?  Me either!  In fact, I am so disbelieving that I'm not going to take pictures of them, for fear that the cold hard digital proof will reveal them to be actually unfinished.   In which case I will fling myself into a snowbank and weep bitter tears of futile rage over the recalcitrance of knitted objects that will not allow themselves to be finished.  So no pictures.  You'll just have to take my word for it that they're done,  and be happy.  They are a nice ash grey with navy stripes, and they should keep her skinny little history-professor hands nice and toasty for the rest of the winter.  (Which, by the way, is never going to end.   I am resigned, but not happy.)
    I am also this close to finishing the Vest that Never Ends.  If I can refrain from coughing myself into a million gooey pieces, it should be done by the weekend.  It's amazing how much knitting you can accomplish when you're just too darn miserable to do anything else!  Maybe I should be glad I'm sick?  Hmmm....uh, no, not going that far.  I'll just be glad I can still knit while I'm sick. 

Why, yes, I would like some cheese with my whine!


Warning: this post contains high levels of whining, complaining and downright grouchiness.  Sensitive persons may wish to simply delete and move on.  The author wishes she could do so as well. 

    I really think the universe is out to get me.  I mean, I live in Michigan, right?  Part of the lower 48?  So what the heck am I doing dressed up like Nanook of the North just to walk the dog?  Yesterday it was -3 Fahrenheit, and the wind chill dropped it to a refreshing -20.  Cross-country hike, anyone?  We could go see Hell, I hear it froze over! 
    Yes, I am extremely grouchy right now.  Snow is one thing - this sort of bone-numbing, butt-freezing cold is something else entirely.  I feel like I haven't been properly warm in ages.  There is frost on the INSIDE of my garage.  The dog is "holding it" until her eyeballs are bright yellow.  And hey, it's only mid-February!  We've still got LOTS of winter left!
    Of course, just to make everything better, hubby is seriously stressed with his job, youngest son has bronchitis, and my fibromyalgia is acting up like nobody's business.  Some invisible demon has been having a great time driving spikes into my hips for the last few weeks.  NOT fun.  This is the time of year when we always splurge on a couple lottery tickets, in the vain but fervent hope that we'll actually win something and be able to get off the hamster-wheel.  Obviously that hasn't happened yet, and I'm not really holding my breath, but right now it sure sounds good.  Think positive, blah blah blah. 
    Am I the only one who ever wants it all to just go away?  Make all the yucky stuff disappear, please, and while you're at it I'd love a new convertible.  Thanks so much.  I hate this cycle but as long as there's winter, stressful jobs, and fibro, I don't really see how to get out of it.  Unless we do win the lottery, in which case we can kiss the job good-bye, move somewhere warm, and - well - get better drugs for the fibro?  That one's a problem.  But anyway, I guess we just have to deal.  Yay.  I think I'm going to go drink waaaaaay too much coffee, sit by the heater and try to pretend I'm in Florida.